“Respect in Our Club” Orientation Pamphlet

Welcome to Hastings Center Rockhounds. We would like our club to be a safe, friendly place where we all speak and act with respect and kindness. This Orientation Pamphlet is a little like a “Communication 101” course. We hope that the hints included here will help all of us to remember how to interact in a respectful, positive manner.

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Effective communication

  • Express your thoughts (ideas and opinions) in clear, straightforward terms.
  • Try to be aware of how your message is being received.
  • Don’t take offence if you have to repeat or rephrase your point.

Some people, for example, don’t hear well, others may just be distracted and have missed your point and individuals whose first language is not English
may need extra time or help to understand your message.

Words

  • Ask for clarifications.
  • Don’t make assumptions.

Try one of these if you are not sure what someone means or what their intentions are:

  • “I don’t quite get your meaning. Can you explain that again?”
  • “Are you saying that _______________________?”
  • “Do you mean that ________________________?”

Try this if you are not sure what someone is feeling:

  • “You sound (for example) upset. Is that how you are feeling?”

Try one of these if someone seems to not understand you:

  • “What I mean is ___________________________.”
  • “Let me put it another way.  _______________.”
  • “What I am trying to say is ________________.”
  • That’s not what I meant. Let me try again.

Tone

  • The same words can have different meanings depending on how they are spoken.
  • Choose your tone of voice as carefully as you choose your words.
  • Make it respectful and polite.
  • Be aware that different cultures use tones in different ways.
  • As with words, ask for clarification. Don’t make assumptions.

Body Language

  • 70% of communication is through body language – pay attention to yours and to others.
  • Keep your body language friendly and respectful.
  • Jabbing fingers in someone’s face can often escalate disagreements.
  • Keeping your hand motions relaxed and slow can often calm down a situation.

Efficient ways to resolve misunderstandings or disagreements

  • If you are feeling uncomfortable or offended, speak up immediately.
  • Don’t let a problem get bigger.
  • Ask yourself:
    • “Am I acting in a reasonable way?”
    • “Are they acting in a reasonable way?”
    • “What can I do to improve communication?”
  • Intention is important in resolving a misunderstanding or
    disagreement. Check out your intentions.
  • When going into a discussion assume that the other person has
    honourable intentions.
  • Listen carefully. Try to understand.

Try these steps to help resolve a misunderstanding or disagreement:

  1. Explain what the other person does that you are upset with.
  2. Explain how you feel.
  3. Explain what you would like to happen.

Example: “When you keep telling me I am using the machine the wrong way I feel frustrated and confused. Please show me again really slowly what to do.”

Conclusion

  • Try to resolve the misunderstanding or disagreement yourself.
  • Think of a plan.
  • Think Conversation not Confrontation.
  • Describe behavior don’t give labels.
  • Take a breath.
  • Take a step back out of the personal.
  • Take responsibility for your actions.
  • Respond positively.
  • Thank the other person for their willingness to resolve the situation.

For help in resolving informal or formal complaints please refer to our “Respect Policy and Complaints Resolution Procedure”.

Questions?

If you want to learn more about us we encourage you to drop in to our meetings as a guest. Or you can email us with any questions.

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